def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
