Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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