Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
