oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
