Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
