Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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