You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
