1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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