If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
