she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
