i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
