Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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