I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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