Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
