I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Randomize
