It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize