Apparently you make a good broom.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
