i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My underwear smells like fireworks.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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