absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
