ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize