marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
