Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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