why didn't you poke me back
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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