You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
