i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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