i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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