After last night, I could never be a politician.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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