All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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