never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
