super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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