Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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