god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We left the knife in your bed.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Randomize
