At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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