I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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