I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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