Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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