I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Too much gin, very little bucket
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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