i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
