I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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