in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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