you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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