I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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