five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
