I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
