Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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