Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
