SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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