just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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