I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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