Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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