we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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