If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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