glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
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This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
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All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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