You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
