I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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